Gil and Cal Discuss the Weather

Gil: Hey Cal, what’s up?

Cal: Not much, I hate this weather.

Gil: I do, too. I can’t believe it’s already getting cold. I feel like the summer just ended.

Cal: I know, me, too. I was watching the weather this morning and the guy said that with the windshield factor, it would feel like 25 degrees!

Gil: You mean wind chill factor?

Cal: Um, noooo, windshield factor. That’s what he said.

Gil: Oh really. Can you explain that one for me, Cal?

Cal: Sure, it’s when it’s windy out and it feels colder than it really is.

Gil: No, I mean explain why it’s called the “windshield” factor.

Cal: Oh. I don’t know, I just assumed that, like, when it’s really windy, you need a windshield to protect you. And the windshield feels the full strength of the wind, so it knows how much different the temperature is from how it feels.

Gil: Ah, the windshield has feelings now.

Cal: Well, you know what I mean. Digital feelings. Like a robot.

Gil: OK, so how does it know what the real temperature is, then?

Cal: Um, well, most cars now tell you how cold it is outside, right?

Gil: Yeah.

Cal: So then the computer in the car tells the windshield, and the windshield takes how cold it feels and compares it to what the computer says.

Gil: OK, and how exactly does the meteorologist get this information?

Cal: You mean, like, so he knows if the cows are ok?

Gil: The cows?

Cal: Yeah, so he can make sure he gets good meat from them.

Gil: Cal, what the hell are you talking about?

Cal: A meteorologist. Isn’t that like a butcher?

Gil: Oh my god. No. A meteorologist is like a weatherman.

Cal: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Meteors. I get it. Wait, no I don’t. What do meteors have to do with the weather.

Gil: Well, nothing really, it’s just referring to things celestial.

Cal: Oh, I love those!

Gil: You do?

Cal: Yeah, I used to come home from school every day and eat one and watch TV.

Gil: Huh? Eat one what?

Cal: A Celestial Pizza! Isn’t that what we’re talking about?

Gil: I never know, Cal. I never know.